Thursday, March 19, 2009

Give and Take

Are you a Giver or a Taker?

When I first asked myself this question, my automatic reply (to myself) is, "Jill! You're a giver, of course!" As if I couldn't possibly be a taker. No, no, not me, never.

I referred to my trusty right-click in Microsoft Word (favorite feature ever) for synonyms for "Giver" and "Taker". Here we go:

Giver = Donor, Contributor, Philanthropist, Benefactor, Provider, Supplier

Taker = Stealer, User, Beggar

I didn't realize "Taker" was so negative. Yikes.

"Giver" on the other hand, looks pretty good, right?

For the most part, I do believe I am a Giver. And I like it just fine the majority of the time. It's certainly better than the alternative. However, some days I wish I could be neither Giver nor Taker. Some days, I just want to be. Being the Giver-type, I'm overly susceptible to Takers. In fact, I often feel that Takers have taken over my life (I'm exaggerating, of course). My husband is also a Giver. This simply means that we're both busy giving to Takers all of the time (again, slight exaggeration). But really, I don't know what to do about it.

Some Takers are okay. The nice ones. The ones I don't mind giving to because their sweetness and appreciation is in turn giving back to me. These Takers would likely be Givers if their circumstances were different. You follow?

Then there are the Mean Takers. The ones who are nasty and mean until they want to take something from you, then they suddenly turn sweet as pie. Mean Takers don't care how valuable it is to you. They want it. They justify taking it in their selfish, distorted minds. They take it without so much as a smile or a "Thank You". Then once they have it, they treat it like it's worthless. But it meant something to you... (it= your time, energy, emotion, money, ect.)

Ugh....Mean Takers. This type wears me out. And I tell ya, today...I'm worn.

Being a natural Giver, I often don't know how to respond. A few years ago, I would've just given in and been sad about my loss. Now, I'm learning to compromise. "No, you can't take that, but you can have this." Hopefully, sooner or later I will find a way to just say "No, this is important to me and you cannot have it." (This would never apply to a Nice Taker).

Obviously, this is what's on my mind today. Not exactly sunflowers and pussy willows, sorry.

On a happy note, I'm wearing my darling button shoes today, Yeh!

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