Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Sink or Swim

There's nothing like a trip to the swimwear department to give one's self esteem a startling punch in the face. It hurts very badly. I don't recommend it.

The 75% off clearance rack at Target is often a good place to find cute swimwear for very cheap. I browse and find a one-piece, solid color suit that I think might just work for me. I've been looking for a one-piece for quite some time. I take a medium and a large to the dressing room and wiggle into the object of torture. I try the medium first. Skin from previously unseen places bulges out to cry, "Help me!" I make a few strap adjustments that only cause more bulging and further discomfort.

I take no offense that I'm about to try the next size up. After all, it's only a size. Hello, it's a bathing suit. It's sole purpose is to make me whale-like, so what's another size, right? I get this one on a bit more easily. But it's still all wrong. The straps are still giving me rolls where there weren't rolls before. The halter tie causes immediate neck pain. My mind wanders afar when I notice my there such a thing as albino sausage? The lighting in the fitting room is awful. That's it - it's the lighting's fault.

Bathing suit still on, I retrieve my white bra and wave it at my reflection in bitter surrender. Damn bathing suit. Don't judge. It was an appropriate time for cussing.

Days later, when I've recovered from my traumatizing experience, I sift through the suits I already own to assess my options for the looming hot season. I find a little treasure handed down to me by my friend Teresa (Thanks, TW!).

Cute, right? It's a little retro, which I totally dig. I tried it on for Steve and he was not so sure about it being so high cut (covers the belly button). I don't mind that so much, but I will have to adjust the straps so the girls are up where they're supposed to be.

I'm still looking for the perfect one piece that will be modest as well as support and flatter the bod. If you know of a particular brand that is kind to petite, yet curvy girls, please do let me know.

I hope your first swimwear experience of the season is better than mine was. Go forth and conquer!


Anonymous said...

Hey, I'm thrilled to see it might work for you. It looks a little retro because it is!! ;) I'll let you know if I see any good one-piece swimsuits in my travels. I also like tankinis now because they are easy to get in and out, can be mixed, and still look like one-piecers if you find the ones that meet.

LaNae said...

I enjoyed reading this, nothing like looking for swim ware to make one depressed. I found two good ones last year but I cannot find one of them, that upsets me. I will have to endure swim ware shopping again here soon, and I too am looking for a one piece so I will let you know.

Girly Muse said...

check out this website...

Jilliebeanie said...

Thanks, Lori! Looks like some potential winners there. I'm exited to check 'em all out!

just my style said...

Love this post!!! I feel your pain!

I have found that Roxy bathing suits are awesome! They are a bit more spendy but not offensivly expensive. I can only find them in bikini form though. The styles range from itty bitty to pretty supportive and they don't seem to make things bulge quite as bad.
I was once told that good bathing suits are so expensive because alot of R & D has to go into them to alleviate all of the problem areas. They are specifically engineered to slim and lift in all the right spots...if you know what I mean.
I am currently on the hunt for the perfect one-piece suit too...let me know if you find one!

I bought most of my suits on ebay, much of course! Used bathing suit = GROSS!