I've been in denial about my fears for a long time. I never thought of myself as a fearful person. Turns out, I am paralyzed by fear. I don't take risks. I don't move forward. I only shuffle around in my comfortable little space. Welcome to my revelation.
I'm afraid of not having enough money. I don't have experience to justify this fear. I've never truly lacked anything, ever. My needs have always been met, and most of my wants too. I've concluded that this fear is absurd and I'm going to get over it - the sooner the better.
What I'm even more afraid of is wasting precious time in my meager attempts at making money. This is where the shuffling comes in. If I'm not entirely satisfied with what I'm doing, I shift to something equally familiar, stable, and safe. Too damn safe. Grrr.
I'm afraid of failure. Or maybe it's success that I'm afraid of. Is there a difference?
I'm afraid of trying. Like, really, actually trying.
I'm afraid of needing help.
I'm afraid of being judged.
I'm afraid of disappointment.
And this is just my professional life. Ha.
I'm better than this. If not, God certainly is. So, this is the start of something. I'm making gradual changes to how I think, work, and live. I'm excited to tell you about it over the next few weeks and months.
Thanks for letting me say that. It actually wasn't as painful as I thought.