Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Why I Don't Wear Maxi Dresses

Jacket: Levi's via JCP,  Dress: Hot Mama,  Shoes: Payless

Oh wait.  I'm totally wearing a maxi dress here.  Huh.  Well, this is why one should never say that they don't wear something.  Make a statement like that and you're bound to find an exception.  I like the colors, stripes, sleeves (3/4), length, and fabric of this dress.  It was perfect to take on vacation.

Ahem.  So here's why I don't wear maxi dresses:

1.  Legs.  Body hatin' is no fun, but we all do it.  So when those creepy negative thoughts come in, I rely on my legs.  They're kinda cute and help me go places.  If hidden, they might feel under appreciated (sad face).

2.  Steve likes my legs.  He spent most of his upbringing in the United Pentecostal Church where a woman's legs are always covered.  Anytime I wear a skirt below my knees, I prepare for some religious reference to his childhood.  Really, he's just trying to make up for lost leg-looking time.

3.  I'm a shorty.  It's not easy to find maxi skirts that don't have a foot of extra fabric to contend with.  I don't mind going to the tailor, but eh....

4.  Tripping is funny embarrassing.  Especially since the invention of skinny jeans, I'm not accustomed to a lot of fabric by my feet.  That said, I really want a pair of bell bottoms, to be worn with platforms.  Now who's tripping?  Oh that's still me.  But I look so groovy when I'm upright.

5.  Long skirts/dresses read sophisticated to me, and that is not a word I use to describe my style. A sophisticated outside doesn't match the silliness I feel on the inside.  Not that maxis can never be silly.  It's a feeeeeeeeeling.  A silly one.  All my own.

I've tried other maxi styles, really I have.  And I'll continue to try them as I see fit.  But this is the only one that hasn't been sent to the donation pile after only one wear.  It's a special case.

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